Feminism Isn't Working and I Give Up
"This is how it works. We get mad, we fight, we get tired, we get mad, we start again. Rinse, repeat. Feminism isn’t without its flaws, and it doesn’t seem able to speak with one voice or crystallize answers on the darker, stickier aspects of human nature and sexuality. But if I may get Rumsfeldian for a minute, this is the army we have. The fight comes to us whether we seek it or not, whether we want it or not, and whether we are ready or not.
So might as well be ready. Ready, and maybe even happy, to die on the hill.”
Ugh, this speaks to me on so many levels. I’m so tired of caring, but the alternative is unfathomable.
I’m having a lot of feminist feelings about Bones right now.
An Open Letter to White Male Comedians
I want to try and convey to you, broadly, how you are hurting women and hurting your own art form, and how easy it would be to stop. Because right now you’re coming across like a bunch of entitled babies terrified of a few girls in your clubhouse—demanding that women be thick-skinned about their own rapes while you’re too thin-skinned to handle even mild criticism. It’s embarrassing…
If you just don’t care, that’s fine—that’s your choice—but understand this: I know you think you’re being transgressive and edgy and bad-in-the-cool-way when you are careless with the trauma of strangers, but you’re not. You are being conservative. You are a conservative comedian. You are moving your art form backwards, you are a bully (a bully who has likely experienced bullying himself, which is the worst kind), and you are propping up the status quo in the most boring way possible. If that’s what you want, at least have the grace to own it.
Last night’s episode of Spartacus reminded me how much I love this show. I seriously think it’s one of the most feminist programs on TV right now, even though it in no way markets itself as such.
Of Church, feminism, and safety
"Safety is a big thing for survivors of all kinds of abuse. It’s a big deal when someone confides their pain in another individual. And when that individual turns around time after time and clings to rules and regulations, idioms and cliches, proverbs and parables, it invalidates the experience and pain of the person who trusted them. It is a deep betrayal of trust. And when the Bible is used as a tool to shame people for their emotions, silence their pain, and brow-beat them back into line, all in the name of God…if that is not taking His name in vain to hurt the least of these, I don’t know what it is.
But you know what?
It’s been outside the church, among “godless” liberals and feminists, that I have been given the tools I need to heal. (I put “godless” in quotes, because I was always taught that liberals and feminists are godless, when in fact I’ve discovered quite the contrary.)
It’s been outside the church, among these liberals and feminists, that I’ve learned that it is okay for me to exist.
It’s been outside the church, among these liberals and feminists, that I’ve been allowed to grieve when I hurt, rage when I’m angry, dance when I’m happy, and experience human emotions fully for the first time in my life.
It’s been outside the church, among these liberals and feminists, that I’ve truly heard for the first time that there is nothing I can think, say, do, or wear that can possibly justify sexual, physical, spiritual, or emotional violence against me.
It’s been outside the church, among these liberals and feminists, that I’ve been told that my voice is important.
It’s been outside the church, among these liberals and feminists, that I’ve been told that my entire worth isn’t located in my vagina or connected to any activity that happens therein.
It’s been outside the church, among these wonderful, strong, brave, compassionate liberals and feminists, that I have found safety. Understanding. Friendship. Love.”
Dangerous Women Creed
Dear God, please make us dangerous women.
May we be women who acknowledge our power to change, and grow,
and be radically alive for God.
May we be healers of wounds and righters of wrongs.
May we weep with those who weep and speak for those who cannot
speak for themselves.
May we cherish children, embrace the elderly, and empower the poor.
May we pray deeply and teach wisely.
May we be strong and gentle leaders.
May we sing songs of joy and talk down fear.
May we never hesitate to let passion push us, conviction compel us,
and righteous anger energize us.
May we strike fear into all that is unjust and evil in the world.
May we dismantle abusive systems and silence lies with truth.
May we shine like stars in a darkened generation.
May we overflow with goodness in the name of God and by the power of Jesus.
And in that name and by that power, may we change the world.
Dear God, please make us dangerous women. Amen. -
From Lynne Hybels’ blog.
It frustrates me beyond words when I see my friends, especially those who view themselves as champions of reason and open-mindedness, mocking feminists for their inability to find rape jokes funny.
How many times do I have to say it? Your desensitization to rape jokes isn’t edgy, and it isn’t something you should be proud of. It just demonstrates how incredibly insensitive and selfish you are, for not being able to see past your freedom of speech to understand why that that speech might just be a bad idea.
But no, apparently it’sme who needs to get my head out of my ass for wanting to spare the victims of a horrible crime from further pain.